Sunday, June 29, 2008

period sex

I would really like to get fucked tonight
but the problem with this is
I am on my period
and as my friend justin knows,
that is one thing that I am not into
the other thing?
fisting
the idea makes me nauseous
period sex
I can only do it
with someone I really love
or
someone from out of town
because we have no other choice
the best lover of 2007
once
put his finger in a pool of
my blood that was on the bed
and then put it into his mouth
later he said it was to impress me
and it did
impress me
after he left, I had to throw out
my sheets
it looked like someone had been
murdered in my room
we agreed it was appropriate
because when we talked on the phone
we so often talked about removing
each other’s skin
its more romantic than it sounds
just trust me
but anyways,
I don’t even know who I would call
tonight, for sex
because I don’t feel like trying hard
or listening to anyone talk about themselves
which is a courtesy you must provide
if you are about to use them
for their body
oh wait- there is a third thing
animal costumes
that shit is fucking weird

Thursday, June 26, 2008

zac and i take art and free wine seriously




I think Zac and I need to hang out less. People are going to mistake us for a couple, which is seriously gross. I'm not sure why we hang out so much. I'm pretty sure we are indifferent to one another's existence. W E I R D.

Justin Taylor Is A Really Cool Person Who Does Good Things

My very good friend, Justin Taylor is hosting an even tonight. Zac and Tao and I are going, and probably a lot of other good looking people. Come hang out with us tonight.

The Agriculture Reader is pleased to present one of our favorite poets: Anthony McCann. He is joined by Ag.Re. editors Jeremy Schmall and Justin Taylor, and fiction contributor Mark Edmund Doten. Pleasure will be manifold, but seating is limited. It will please us to see you there and you to have come. AT THE KGB BAR AT 7 PM ON THURSDAY JUNE 26TH.

I plan to get drunk, weep uncontrollably, and smash glasses between readers. At least come to watch me fall apart and get escorted out

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

But You Owe Me Ten Dollars

Zac wrote about our evening yesterday. I felt excited reading it, because I had also just written about it before bed last night. I can't tell if the two accounts seem different or not. I think they probably are just like listening to either of us talk about it, that is to say, we both write like we talk. I dont know what I'm saying. Read Zac's first.

***

June 24, 2008

Zac called me today. He invited me over to his new place to cook dinner. I had a very hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he lived there once I arrived. The place is incredibly nice. His friend Jesse whom he lives with now is very rich. There is no way someone like Zac or I could afford a view of Manhattan. When I got there he showed me around and made gin and tonics. After that we made potatoes and kale like we always do. It was comfortable and reassuring to just do the same thing with him but in a much more lush environment. He seemed very proud of his place. God it was so good to seem him seem happy. Earlier this week he got an acceptance letter from ****** to have his novel published. I’ve seen or at least talked to him on the phone every day since. He acts disinterested, like he does not care, but I know that he is really very excited. As he should be. He is a 19-year-old with a book being published. I am so fucking proud of him. I only wish he was less depressed. Or at the least, didn’t fetishize depression so much. After dinner we got a free PBR down the block from his house at a bar that had a Tuesday night special, and then to the Alligator Lounge to have free pizza with Budweiser. Afterwards, we went back to his place to watch cable but the TV wasn’t working so we listened to music and drank gin and soda and read books together. That was the happiest I’ve felt in a week or so, just being quiet together, alternating who chose the next song, not saying much. We read our books and chain-smoked and just enjoyed not being alone for a period of time and it felt really perfect.

Later Justin Taylor came over. We all chatted a bit until Tao and Kelly arrived. Tao, Kelly and Zac played scrabble while I read my book and Justin just sort of hung out.

Lately Delores has been sleeping very close to me. I like it. It makes me feel less lonely, sort of.

I think I might be going to LA soon. I talked to Tristan today, he said he would buy my ticket.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Exhibitionism Is A Mental Disorder












If you read my journals on Bore Parade, and would like to read more, then I suggest buying a copy of the chapbook from Jaguar Uprising Press. There will be many pages of new entries. Some bad things started happening in my life right where the ebook left off. I have chosen to enable your voyeurism by including them now. Here is an excerpt:

Kenny, his friend and I got a cab and took it to Flatbush where he lives. He was still very sweet at this point, although in hindsight it could have been the euphoria of the speed making me think so. We dropped his friend off and headed to his house. I talked a quite a bit and most likely sounded like an idiot but Kenny humored me because he wanted to fuck me. At his house we smoked in his room and he showed me some of his recent photographs. Very quickly he made me stand to kiss him. I didn’t really even enjoy kissing him as he was not very passionate but I felt dizzy and submissive because of the drugs, so I went with it regardless. We lay down and took our clothes off and continued to kiss and touch and things still seemed pretty normal.

and . . .

It’s not even 5pm and I’m on my second glass of wine. Today I was online and Tao texted me “are you still drinking a lot and depressed?” My answer was yes. I can’t stop feeling awful about Jakub. I don’t understand why I can’t sustain a relationship longer than a few weeks anymore.

Give Jaguar your money. It's pretty cheap and almost 1/3 more entries are involved.

ALSO

Thank you to everyone who has sent me emails about the journals. It has been really lovely to read such candid things people have so say about their own lives. I apologize about not getting back to some of you yet, I've had a succession of friends in town recently and have been distracted. I promise to get back to all of you.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

bearcreekfeed

I have a new story up at bearcreekfeed. If you have not already seen this website, this is a good reason to go. It is run by Colin Bassett, who is not only very smart and good at things, but also easily the nicest editor I've ever come into contact with (sorry Blake, but you lost the throne when you kept texting me that you were in town and then not actually being in town, im very sensitive, it hurt my feelings).

I really like seeing my story all up next to Kim Chinquee's story. Yes, that makes me feel very good.

Excerpts of this have been on my blog recently. Go read the full story. I love you.

Second Favorite Girl In Brooklyn

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Big Sis

My sister, Ali Malone, has her website up. Please take a look. I think she is fucking incredible.

Her thesis opening is tonight. Join us.

ALI MALONE
13th -28th
Opening Tonight
"The Daughters of Job", 6-8pm at:
Visual Arts Gallery
601 West 26th st.
15th floor
New York, NY

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Love Your Friends And Not Your Lovers

I have an e-book on Bore Parade

It is called Love Your Friends And Not Your Lovers.

It is a collection of recent journal entries of mine.

I am excited because I journal a lot, and take them very seriously. They are unedited. They are explicit.

The names are real, along with everything else.

You can buy it in chapbook form here.

WARNING

if you are my mom, dad, my brother jason, or an ex-boyfriend who is sensitive, please dont read these. They are incredibly graphic.

END WARNING

if you read this please give it a blurb or link it. i honestly feel very nervous putting this out there. i would like to know that it made it to someone's eyes.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Lamination Colony Is A Dirty Toilet

The new Lamination Colony is up.

I have a bunch of little shorts in it. Go read them.

They are Delores approved.

I read the whole magazine. I liked everything. I'm being serious.

Little Boo has something in it too.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

i care very much about many things

i dont know what to do about this
if my friends knew i still emailed you
they would be disappointed in me
maybe even angry with me
you called at 3:40 am last night
i thought about answering
i wanted to talk to you so bad
i am not an apathetic person
there are many things
that i care very much about
i cry very easily
it is as often
because i am happy
as it is
because i am sad
it wouldn't take much
for me to lift my ban on
you calling me
i certainly do think it is strange
that you dont have any tattoos

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Six Sentences

I have a little guy at six sentences.

I think if you like cupcakes and facial ejaculations you might like this story.

If you don't like those things then now you have another reason to dislike me. Good.

Great.

*UPDATE*

Someone named Lulu (that was the name of my first dog, she was a little black poodle, i've always loved that name) seems to be a little upset about the mindset of Julia in my story (see comments on S6). Apparently, not only do some people not like facial ejaculations, but they also dislike reading about a woman who does. For the record, woman or man, it makes me very sad when people publicly damn peoples various sexual likes and dislikes. I see nothing wrong with being a 'top' or a 'bottom' sexually, especially when it is not suggesting that other people enjoy what they like as well. I would like to know what other people feel about this.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

We Heart Four Things

Conn Tomas O'brien has this neat little website called We Heart Four Things. There are three issues. They are all pretty and amusing. The most recent one features a small interview and some work from me, along with Brandonioni Scott Gorrell (actually i think he hates when i call him that but there is a story behind it, im not just retarded, but i dont think i ever even told him the story, brandon if you want to know the story, email me, or anyone else for that matter, it is interesting, it involves a very small tree), Matthew Savoca, and Tao Tao (i dont think tao gives a shit that i call him that, i just sort of like saying it twice so i do).

My picture is very obviously the best one. I win.

also . . .



Tao Tao and I found this Nsync poster in his kitchen last night and we felt insanely happy. And I have extremely long muppet arms. Tao was so excited he could not even hold the camera still.

also . . .



We made a new friend. We named him Justin Taylor.

insane or irate- neither of the words accurately describe the feeling that they indicate

my friend and i
watched my favorite
movie tonight
and i think we both
felt a little irate
or maybe insane is
a better word
after the movie
so we went outside
and found the loaf
of bread he threw
out the window earlier
and we put it
in the street
and watched cars
playing absurd music
run it over
we became very excited
and felt mutually
good about
the experience
really,
i think
one of the worst
moments that can happen
is the first few seconds
after a movie is over
one than everyone likes-
its that moment
when you have to accept
that the movie was not
even remotely real
and you have to
speak at some point
and you have to shatter
what you were just feeling
a moment before
it is
the most mediocre
point of life
that gets
experienced
many times
yes, i think that moment
is what people mean
when they use the word
bourgeois

Sleep It Off

i just saw a fly
with three wings
one was on the
center of its back
it stumbled along
the edge of the bench
it looked pretty drunk
he got up to fly away
but it just made little
tiny circles
and i thought
“oh little buddy,
sleep it off”
then i watched it
land next to me
i crushed it
with my thumb
because
i am
extremely allergic
to insect bites
then i turned up
the talking heads
and wondered
when zac would
come home
we can listen to “book i read, the”
over and over
until we hate the song