Wednesday, April 30, 2008

My Sweetnesses

My sweetness, Mike Young was in town this last weekend. We did stuff together, including buy each other late/early birthday sunglasses. One night my other sweetness, Zac German came over and we drank. This is what it looked like.


We were very concerned about the future. The magic 8 ball put our minds at ease.


Zac German decided to drink in my bed (it's true, I'm a grown ass woman who still sleeps with a stuffed animal- i've had him since i was six and can't sleep without him and for the record, his name is 'bunny').


"Deer in headlights"- all the dang time.


My boo.


Nicole is a bookworm so she was working on research while Delores glared at me for having two boys in my bed at once. Delores is old fashioned and very jealous.


A very beautiful still life.


I wrote 'mom' on Nicole's boobs cause she wants to get a cute ghetto chola tattoo just like mine.


Then she shook her magnificent breast for me.


Stupid dumbface sweetness boo, you make me feel like charity.

Hellfire And Some Other Shit

I have some poems up at Dogmatika. I don't think you have read these.

la la la wuff meow

Monday, April 28, 2008

zachary german is one of my best friends and i enjoy spending time with him even when we have nothing to say

my cat is attacking my feet
i feel pretty shitty
zac is eating
he has been eating all day

"do you think it means he hates me?"
"yes, obviously"
"the rain is awful, remind me to take
an anti-depressant when we get home"
"okay"

zac puts too much hot sauce on everything
we like the same songs though
sexy boy and you make me feel like charity
are songs
we listen to together often

this morning he asked me to cook him kale
the way he likes it
the only way i know how to cook it
so i cooked it
and we watched a movie
then after the movie i taught him how to make it
and he made it for me

"i feel really obese and happy"
"you're silly"

we are both prone to touching
the heads of people we love
and today
we both feel very unloved

my mother is full of sayings
one of them is
"misery loves company"

one time we slept in the same bed
and i remember
i liked how his armpits smelled

Thursday, April 24, 2008

A Letter

Dear Mr. The Golden Bear,

Kendra Grant Malone hunts alone.

Love,

Kendra Grant Malone

Monday, April 21, 2008

It's Nice Out Today



Brian aka Mux Mool, my little baby butterfly, has a song called Night Court in pretty little adult swim promo. You should go watch it, it is my favorite Mux Mool song and it plays in the second half of the animation. My very beautiful friend Jakub Alexander's label has also put out a Mux Mool Donation EP and you should buy it for like 50 cents or something because he is going to stay with me when he moves to New York in September and the more money he has when he gets here it means the less time I have to deal with him bitching on my futon and hitting on my roommates.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

some short poems i wrote very slowly

i change my mind about everything as of five days ago

i dont care what people say
you are not a turtle
you are a bunny

i never thought
a little bunny
would be such a good fuck

today i thought i had a good idea but it turned out to be maybe not such a good idea, or maybe it was a good idea, but really i dont think it was


i was tired of forgetting to put on earrings
so i took a needle and string
and a seashell

i sewed the seashell to my ear
it hurts like hell
maybe i should have sterilized the needle
or maybe sewing things to your head it stupid

my permanent earring is very pretty though
aside from the crusty blood on it

everything i own is pink

i dont know what age i began to be such a little twat
(im guessing about five or six)

what does it feel like to wear those glasses?

well, it feels like i just got out of jail with thirteen counts of child molestation under my belt and im going back to my job on the school bus and i got a pocket full of jolly ranchers

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Lil Bunny Face JKFGJKDFGHSIURNNN!

I haz no internetz now.

But don worree. Ima so hoppy hoppy.

(sorree fer realz, but got printer and been readyz tings fer printz)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I Had A Dream About Sam Pink Last Night + gchat about our upcoming tv sitcom

We were in a field at night slow dancing next to a rusted old chevy in the moon light. Sam was very giant size and wearing a flannel plaid shirt like a lumber jack. I was wearing a white dress that was too big. I had my head pressed against his chest and he smelled burnt. Sam had no audible heart beat.

me: saaaaaaaaaam
sam: tru
eat a dick
me: no
eat a baginer
sam: i am fine with that provided a certain level of sanitation is observed
and the baginrer has gum in it
me: that is where gum comes from
sam: i knew that
me: NO YOU DIDNT I FUCKING HATE YOU
sam: be nice or i will travel back in time and abort delores
with a rake
covered in nails
me: nooooooo
okee okee
(kisses your toes)
you know my weakness . . .
sam: (straightens cuff links) you know you must behave if she is too survive
me: sigh
sam: (sips brandy)
me: yes sammy
sam: good now run along
me: NO
sam: i had a dream and you were in it
i dont remember to what extent because the dream was long
and had very scary things iin it
there was a huge bumblebee with the head of a baby
and room of many curtains
me: no way
seriously i had a dream last night and you were in it
no way no way no way
sam: really
how could i
you haven't seen me
me: i wasnt gonna tell you cause i was afraid it would be creepy
sam: its just true thats all
its not creepy
me: it was someone who i just "knew" was you
you know like in dreams you just "know" its someone
the idea of them
sam: yes
exactly
tjat happens with houses too
me: we danced by a chevy outside under moonlight
and you smelled burnt
sam: that is pretty
thats fucking awesome actually
me: and you were a huge giant
sam: holy shit i love this
me: and i laid my head on your chest and you had no heart beat
thats all
the end
sam: HOLY FUCK
me: heh
weird
did you have your dream last night?
sam: yes
i found the pile of bones in the forest fomr which the other two were culled
it was a deer
the fur was still in a pile like a rug
and i found the jaw and the ribs and everything
which is good because i needed that for the novel
now that you've dreamed about me i am in you
you are poisoned
me: so are you my dear
god that is so wackey!
i cant believe we dreamed about eachother the same night
sam: that is strange
me: i am tempted to blog about my dream about you
sam: have you read any jung? i think we are part of the same unconscious
do it up
me: i think so too
sam: that shit is the good kind of surreal
include my bubmlebee baby
and thats a wrap
me: hmmm
i want to write like a short paragraph on my dream
like a few sentances
and you write a few sentances on yours
http://www.wikihow.com/Win-a-Hot-Dog-Eating-Contest
im going to smoke brb
baaaaaaack
sam: i am the worm in zarathustra, in your ear
me: ew
sam: thats why you dreamed about me
me: sigh
sam: huh?
me: dksajdjslkfkjdsdfkkk
omg that ended in 'kkk' i feel bad
sam: why
provided you dont recognized the symbology
me: shut up your face
sam: (cries)
me: (fondles your penis and says "shhh shhh baby, you'll wake up daddy")
sam: haha
you are vile
me: heh
im sorry
sam: like a spider under the trim in my bathroom
me: a spider with long eyelashes
(batts eyes)
sam: that would be a great show or movie
just me and my life but i have a girl spider friend
like charlottes web but sadistic
and depraved and sad
me: can the spider be named kendra?
sam: (duh)
me: will it be pretty?
a pretty spider?
sam: yes and it will have sticks for teeth that have matcheads
and it will walk over my face whiel i sleep to protect me
me: will you pet its bloated abdomen?
careful not to squish it?
sam: yes
sometimes i will press my finger into it so the abdomen expands and tears a little just so it knows i am supreme
me: sometimes she will bite you just a little in your sleep so you wake up with your foot swoolen so you know what you fuck with
sam: then i'll go "kendraaaa, you silly arachnid"
me: and i will make a dissonant noise that is not possible for you to hear that means "i love you"
sam: haha
i like that
then i bring a lady home and she "accidentally" kills her
then i go "kenndraaaa" then she blinks shyly and i smile and say "come on silly, let's cut theis body up and stick it in the fridge and rent a movie"
me: awwwwwww
(laugh track)

New Yorkers- Come To This



april 10, 7 pm
brooklyn (145 plymouth avenue, F train york stop) at melville house for agriculture reader with justin taylor, jeremy schmall, aaron petrovich and tao lin

i really like agricultural reader. its fabricated very well, and is nice to hold in your hands. you should buy a copy and come to the reading tonight, or just buy a copy.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Love Your Friends And Not Your Lovers

I haven't been writing much fiction lately. However, I am an avid journaler. I write every day. Most of it is for my journal. I took out names, aside from Nicole (whom has given me permission to use it), so as not to make particular people feel uncomfortable.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

March 23, 2008

**** has been and gone. It was nice having him here. After a few days though, I needed to be alone. He clearly wanted to try to be in a relationship with me. Last night we talked in bed all night long about this. There is not much to say but the obvious. I don’t want a relationship. Things were resolved well though. And I am relieved to have my bed to myself tonight.

I’ve been working on a story where I mostly write about *** or ***. I worry that I might make either of them uncomfortable. They are both understanding, forgiving people though. It seems alright.




March 25, 2008

I just talked to ***** on the phone. It is a little after midnight. I’ve been reading Jane Eyre all night, since I got home from work. He called me after I moved from the couch to my bed, hoping to sleep soon. He was walking home from work and was just moved to call me then. We talked about his moving to New York. He has been researching the area I live in obsessively and all the train stops near me. We have decided on September. It’s a ways away but I think that is good. I would feel terribly uncomfortable having any lovers while he is here, so I would like to get that out of my system over the summer. I’m not sure what to think about this. Maybe think is an improper word. Feel is better maybe. I keep telling friends “I’m so fucked,” in reference to the situation. ***** has complete control over me. There is nothing I can imagine saying ‘no’ to that he could ask for. He told me tonight that he has a big gig on Thursday and that he would like to call me after. I told him that would be great.

*** is having a party this Friday. I’m going to ask ****** to come with me. I feel like he would fit in very well with my friends.

Delores is also relieved to have my bed back. Recently, she has been sleeping very close to me.




March 31, 2008

I’m drinking vodka and coconut water. At first it tasted terrible, but it’s growing on me. I have been very good lately about cutting back my drinking habits. However tonight I have horrible hay fever and I just want a nightcap to help me feel soft enough to get to sleep.

Nicole is sitting on the floor besides me, transcribing her interviews for her paper. She is wearing pajamas and is sitting unashamed, curled over herself with her legs spread wide around her computer. She is so fucking graceful no matter what she is doing. It’s really getting astounding how well we get along.

Again, life has gone back to being fairly calm lately. Not much to write about. It is my sister’s birthday tomorrow. That is the most eventful thing I can think of.

I’ve been having elicit sex dreams often. I had one about *** not long ago, and more recently I had another dream about *****. I haven’t had one about him since we worked together at the warehouse. I also have sex dreams about girls frequently as well. Most recently about *******.

**** and I are starting a magazine together. Its called LOVELESS, and it’s a pornographic poetry magazine. I have to say, it was his idea. He had wanted to start one for a while, and it came up in conversation and seemed like a good fit for us. So we’ve been writing people and soliciting for the first issue. I feel really confident so far. We have a lot to do yet, though.




April 8, 2008

I have been feeling edgy and agitated frequently lately. Today on the train ride home it overwhelmed me. I was feeling irritated by small and natural things that should not annoy a person, like the way my hair touched my neck was driving me insane. The feeling became so severe that I had to put down the book I was reading, because I couldn’t concentrate on anything but how physically upset I felt. I’m feeling much better right now. When I came home, Nicole was taking a nap and woke up and sat with me immediately. We’ve been sitting at the kitchen table and talking about various subjects for over three hours and I feel content.

She educates me. And listens to me. We talk about so many things. Ranging from our personal emotions to our interest in social justice to feminism, to sexual fetishism, to well, basically an endless variety of thing. Dinner. Clean socks. Hair styles. How movies affect us. I do not exaggerate when I say that our conversations could go on for much longer than they do from day to day. I feel panicked if she is gone when I get home. I long for Nicole’s affection and time constantly. I’ve been wondering lately if I am in love with her. She is so physically attractive to me and I admire her mind. She keeps my thoughts always occupied and challenged, better than anyone else I’ve ever met. We kissed passionately this weekend. It was her birthday and she bought a photobooth session for us and I insisted we make out for our last picture. We were not particularly drunk and we kissed much longer than we needed to for the photograph. I can’t explain my adoration for my little Nicole. She has been the light of my day as of late. I wait to see her. I look at our photobooth picture often during the day. She constantly compliments me and raises my self-esteem. She is grateful for any compliment I give her or any time or commodity I share with her, although she thinks nothing of offering me the same. Nicole is precious. She is wild and tenacious. She can’t be owned. I want to own her though. I want to keep her in my arms, safe and happy. I want to worship her. I called ***** very conflicted with these feelings yesterday. He told me that he didn’t see me as a lesbian. That was not the issue for me. She defies gender to me. Nicole is a refuge in my life and I want to be a refuge in hers. I don’t know if that is romance, but it is most decidedly love. The companionship of women often does not require the necessity of definite role-playing. We are friends. But I love my friend and I feel content.

**** is coming to stay with me again soon. It will be nice to be held and adored. We are happy together.

I am drunk.

I Want Something Special

The new Lamination Colony is up.

It is prolly the most prettiest web lit zine I know of. Blake Butler is super duper special. I like him like a lot.

(Blake, you said I would get something special, send me something special)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

netflixin' it

my life has changed. this feels like a crucial turning point in my existence. i have a netflix account.

would people who read this mind recommending me some movies to watch? to give you an idea of what i like here are some of my favorite films:

breaking the waves
the shining
taxi driver
13 tzameti
the five obstructions
the birds
the celebration
the dreamlife of angles
band of outsiders
the texas chainsaw massacre
masculine/feminine
grey gardens
the piano teacher
the idiots
101 dalmatians (im not being ironic, its really pretty)
lightning over water
in the mood for love

and here is what is on my cue currently (some of which im not proud of, but i want to fully disclose myself in a honest way to you):

eastern promises
spider
the darjeeling limited
happiness
out of africa
shortbus
bring it on
grizzly man
the squid and the whale
the proposition
babel
the last king of scotland
the dreamlife of angels

please leave some suggestions in the comment section. thanks dudes.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Puttin' On Mah Tights


(photo by Jeffrey Heart)

Mr. Heart took this picture of me while I was getting ready for work. He will soon post the rest of his New York photos. Check his website, Turkey Turkey.

*notice skeleton garland in background*

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Opening Tonight (free wine yo)


(photo by Ali Malone)

Dream Self

April 3-15th, 2008
Curated by Jade Doskow

Featuring:
Bedel Tiscareno - sculpture
Allison Kaufman - video
Alison Malone - photography
Lambert Fernando - painting
Erica Allen - portraiture

Opening Reception:
Thursday,April 3rd, 2008
6-8 p.m. @
Broadway Gallery
473 Broadway, 7th Floor
(between Grand and Broome)

******************************************

My sister has a group show tonight. Come see this hot shit. It will make the years worth of assisting and listeing to her ramble on and on and on about her grad thesis worth it. And shes really fucking brilliant.

The photographs I have in the show are from my ongoing project titled "The Daughters of Job", which portrays a secret society of girls ranging in age from 10 to 20 years old that are the daughters and granddaughters of Freemasons. These images are concerned with the psychology of identity formation through traditional ritual and role-playing within a patriarchal organization. They observe the girls in the society and the spaces where these rites occur.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Mountain Of Kitties/Sammiches

Twice today I notice I got linked for choosing the topic for a poem written by someone else. That's funny. The topics? Mountain of Kitties and Sandwiches. I'm an autistic muse.

HORN WON'T CHANGE THE MENU

Mountain Of Kitties

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Also, I just wanted to point out Noel Young's blog. He is a dear friend of mine from college and his illustrations are fucking beautiful.