Saturday, June 21, 2008
Exhibitionism Is A Mental Disorder
If you read my journals on Bore Parade, and would like to read more, then I suggest buying a copy of the chapbook from Jaguar Uprising Press. There will be many pages of new entries. Some bad things started happening in my life right where the ebook left off. I have chosen to enable your voyeurism by including them now. Here is an excerpt:
Kenny, his friend and I got a cab and took it to Flatbush where he lives. He was still very sweet at this point, although in hindsight it could have been the euphoria of the speed making me think so. We dropped his friend off and headed to his house. I talked a quite a bit and most likely sounded like an idiot but Kenny humored me because he wanted to fuck me. At his house we smoked in his room and he showed me some of his recent photographs. Very quickly he made me stand to kiss him. I didn’t really even enjoy kissing him as he was not very passionate but I felt dizzy and submissive because of the drugs, so I went with it regardless. We lay down and took our clothes off and continued to kiss and touch and things still seemed pretty normal.
and . . .
It’s not even 5pm and I’m on my second glass of wine. Today I was online and Tao texted me “are you still drinking a lot and depressed?” My answer was yes. I can’t stop feeling awful about Jakub. I don’t understand why I can’t sustain a relationship longer than a few weeks anymore.
Give Jaguar your money. It's pretty cheap and almost 1/3 more entries are involved.
Thank you to everyone who has sent me emails about the journals. It has been really lovely to read such candid things people have so say about their own lives. I apologize about not getting back to some of you yet, I've had a succession of friends in town recently and have been distracted. I promise to get back to all of you.