Zac wrote about our evening yesterday. I felt excited reading it, because I had also just written about it before bed last night. I can't tell if the two accounts seem different or not. I think they probably are just like listening to either of us talk about it, that is to say, we both write like we talk. I dont know what I'm saying. Read Zac's first.
June 24, 2008
Zac called me today. He invited me over to his new place to cook dinner. I had a very hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he lived there once I arrived. The place is incredibly nice. His friend Jesse whom he lives with now is very rich. There is no way someone like Zac or I could afford a view of Manhattan. When I got there he showed me around and made gin and tonics. After that we made potatoes and kale like we always do. It was comfortable and reassuring to just do the same thing with him but in a much more lush environment. He seemed very proud of his place. God it was so good to seem him seem happy. Earlier this week he got an acceptance letter from ****** to have his novel published. I’ve seen or at least talked to him on the phone every day since. He acts disinterested, like he does not care, but I know that he is really very excited. As he should be. He is a 19-year-old with a book being published. I am so fucking proud of him. I only wish he was less depressed. Or at the least, didn’t fetishize depression so much. After dinner we got a free PBR down the block from his house at a bar that had a Tuesday night special, and then to the Alligator Lounge to have free pizza with Budweiser. Afterwards, we went back to his place to watch cable but the TV wasn’t working so we listened to music and drank gin and soda and read books together. That was the happiest I’ve felt in a week or so, just being quiet together, alternating who chose the next song, not saying much. We read our books and chain-smoked and just enjoyed not being alone for a period of time and it felt really perfect.
Later Justin Taylor came over. We all chatted a bit until Tao and Kelly arrived. Tao, Kelly and Zac played scrabble while I read my book and Justin just sort of hung out.
Lately Delores has been sleeping very close to me. I like it. It makes me feel less lonely, sort of.
I think I might be going to LA soon. I talked to Tristan today, he said he would buy my ticket.