Sunday, December 09, 2007

We Love You Very Much

“Have you even moved?” she asked.

I was sitting in the red chair with the tall velvet back at the kitchen table. In front of me was an empty glass with dried wine at the bottom, a glass of water, half drank, a pack of camel lights, a notebook, a laptop, a cell phone, matches, a coffee cup with dried coffee stains in it, a stack of books, a hair brush, an empty plate with salsa remnants on it, and three bobby pins. I looked at all of these things while I thought about her question.

“A little,” I said.
“What is a little?” she said.
“I mean, not really, no,” I said.
“It’s been two days,” she said.
“I know,” I said.

That was the first time I thought about my weekend. It was Sunday night.

“I’m worried about your mental constitution,” she said.
“What does that even mean?” I asked.
“What kind of person is content to spend their only two days off sitting in one place. I don’t think that is very healthy,” she said.
“What should I be doing?” I asked.
“Go on a date,” she said.
“I don’t want to,” I said.
“Go out with friends,” she said.
“I don’t want to,” I said.
“Go for a walk, go shopping,” she said.
“I don’t want to, I don’t want to,” I said.

She put her cold hand on my forehead, very tenderly. She grimaced, and stared at me, with her hand there. Then she crouched to her knees and was eye level with me. She took off her hat and held my cheeks in her still cold hands. She looked like she was going to cry.

“Are you happy?” she asked.
“No. Are you?” I replied.
“We love you very much,” she said.
“Who is we?” I said.
“You look tired,” she said.
“I’m not tired,” I said.

She brushed my hair out of my eyes. I smiled just a little bit. My roommate went into the bathroom and fixed her hair. She put on pink lipstick, and practiced smiling.

“Where are you going?” I asked.
“On a date,” she said.
“With Ryan?” I asked.
“No, Matt,” she answered.

I stood up. I looked at the chair, then sat back in it.

“Will you go down on me?” I asked.
“That is not appropriate,” she said.
“You’ve done it before,” I said.
“It’s not appropriate right now,” she said.
“I wish you wouldn’t leave,” I said.
“We love you very much,” she said.
“I know,” I said.

My roommate put on her coat and left.


Kansas said...

I liked this.

Kendra Grant Malone said...

thankyou kansas