I hate Karaoke. I am very tone deaf. And don't like to be stared at. Before last week, I had never been peer pressured into it. However, I love the Star Spangled Banner. In yesteryear, when I worked in a warehouse in Minnesota, my coworkers and I were serious little nationalists. We often belted the national anthem and chanted a little call and response that goes like this:
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR COLLAR!!??
WHERE IS YOUR BEER MADE!!??
WHERE IS YOUR CAR MADE!!??
(followed by riotous screaming)
You might think this is tacky, if you never worked in a sweltering warehouse for 8 hours a day, making $8.50 an hour, lifting on average of three hundred pounds of shit a day. In those conditions, one must be proud of something . . .
Anyways, here is the video my asshole friend, Rachel, took of my first Karaoke experience, followed by a poem I sent my friend Daniel when I woke up at 4am, bewildered as to how I got home.
I THINK IM GOING TO VOMIT SO IM WRITING YOU ANOTHER POEM, DANIEL.
TONIGHT I SANG THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER BEFORE I LEFT THE BAR
I TOLD EVERYBODY THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GOING TO SING
AND THEN A MAN I USED TO SLEEP WITH STARTED SINGING IT
AND I TOOK THE DAMN MICROPHONE FROM HIM
AND BELTED IT OUT
AND LEFT THE BAR WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE
NOW I CANT GET THE DAMN SONG OUT OF MY HEAD