Saturday, December 08, 2007

Red Blooded Nationalist

I hate Karaoke. I am very tone deaf. And don't like to be stared at. Before last week, I had never been peer pressured into it. However, I love the Star Spangled Banner. In yesteryear, when I worked in a warehouse in Minnesota, my coworkers and I were serious little nationalists. We often belted the national anthem and chanted a little call and response that goes like this:

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR COLLAR!!??

BLUE!!!

WHERE IS YOUR BEER MADE!!??

AMERICA!!??

WHERE IS YOUR CAR MADE!!??

AMERICA!!

AAAAAAAAAAAMERICA!!

(followed by riotous screaming)

You might think this is tacky, if you never worked in a sweltering warehouse for 8 hours a day, making $8.50 an hour, lifting on average of three hundred pounds of shit a day. In those conditions, one must be proud of something . . .

Anyways, here is the video my asshole friend, Rachel, took of my first Karaoke experience, followed by a poem I sent my friend Daniel when I woke up at 4am, bewildered as to how I got home.



I THINK IM GOING TO VOMIT SO IM WRITING YOU ANOTHER POEM, DANIEL.

TONIGHT I SANG THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER BEFORE I LEFT THE BAR
I TOLD EVERYBODY THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GOING TO SING
AND THEN A MAN I USED TO SLEEP WITH STARTED SINGING IT
AND I TOOK THE DAMN MICROPHONE FROM HIM
AND BELTED IT OUT
AND LEFT THE BAR WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE
NOW I CANT GET THE DAMN SONG OUT OF MY HEAD

4 comments:

karissa said...

oh karaoke. you are brave. the moment the microphone hits my hand i start to sweat.

James said...

that poem is good.
i've told you this already.

Justin Rands said...

hahaha, fantastico.

Daniel Bailey said...

that was my favorite poem you sent me.