Chef Alton Brown advises us, via Wired Magazine, on how to use your paper shredder as a pasta maker. For best results, he recommends one made by Fellowes that can mince credit cards and CDs.
Just follow these six steps, exactly as related in Wired:
1) Clean your shredder — even if it's new, you have no idea how long it sat gathering dust (or worse) at Office Depot.
2) Ditch the paper-catching bin below it — you'll want room to work with your pasta.
3) Now disable the receptacle sensor so the machine still functions — you can do this with anything but your finger. (Brown suggests duct tape).
4) Turn the machine on — as the mechanism churns, coat it with nonstick cooking spray.
5) Run pasta through — your sheet of dough should be no wider than the paper feed. The length is up to you.
6) Catch the noodles — do this as they come out, so they don't pile up and stick to themselves.
Do not try this at the office unless you intend to stop working there in the very near future.