Friday, January 12, 2007

The extinction of the tan M&M and hyphenated names.

When I was in sixth grade I had this amazing teacher Mrs. Charlesworth-Ceiler (she was the first instance I had ever heard of a woman wanting a hyphenated name). I recall her being beautiful, the kind of beautiful that is more fascinating. I dont think many little boys had crushes on her, but I could not stop staring at her. She wore hemp clothes, had a short mousey brown bob, and had adopted all her children from China. Mrs, C-S (as we came to call her because of the less than friendly pronunciation of her last name) was think but not frail, she had strong sinewy arms and pretty hazel eyes and a strong jaw. I from time to time would leave notes and letters on her desk, because she always responded via another note or letter, which please me very much because I was shy child.

We were doing a statistic unit one week and along with many fun projects she used to bait us into learning what we were so hesitant to know, my favorite day in particular was when we decided to find out what percent of M&M's were which color. The end result was that tan was by far the most common color. In a box of 100 bags, over 65% of the M&M's were tan. My class was outraged, because if you all care to remember, nobody really cared for tan. Mrs. C-S encouraged us to write M&M's/Mars a letter explaining our disapproval involving M&M inequality. A few weeks past, every sixth grade brain in that windowless classroom had completely forgotten about M&M's, when Mrs. C-S came into class bearing her oversized white teeth, ear to fucking ear. She has received a letter from M&M's that was a sort of apology and it claimed that it was going to amend the difference in colors. Also we were sent a small crate of M&M's which we, of course tore into and counted the colors. The crate total was 30% tan, to even Mrs. C-S's shock.

Within the year, they discontinued tan. I have always felt guilty. Mrs. C-S knew I hated math and adored English and would, along with the notes we would trade and pass, always find places for me to exercise my writing skills in her math class. I wrote the letter to M&M for the class, and although I didn't ask them to stop making tan, I did say that "nobody liked them!"

My dad really liked the tan ones, I think. I dont know for sure but one day a few years ago I heard him remark to his girlfriend, "Why did they ever stop making the tan ones?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i liked them too! damn you.

`james