Monday, September 18, 2006

Throw in a few punctuations while you're at it.

There is a hinge on the back of my head, under my hair. If you press hard on my button nose, you will unlatch my face, causing my head to split in half, bisecting across my cheeks. The top half of my head falls back, until my eyes grace the back of my neck. The hinge is made of gold, covered in flesh. Some of you might wonder to yourself, why I have a flat spot on the top of my head (no kidding, you can rest a beer on it, but dont try it, its been done). It's there so that the top of my head can unhinge fully leaving a gaping hole two and a half inches above my neck. Go 'head push my magic nose button; open me up, now that you know how.

Once you have me open, there is only one thing to do. Which is, of course, fill me. No, you perverts, not with that. What you fill me with needs to be relatively unconventional, or it will squirt back at you. But not too unconventional, or it will seep out of my ears, making an unsightly puddle at my sides, pooling viscous fluid around both of our feet. A sticky mess you dont want to deal with, trust me darlings. So now, go 'head. Fill me. With your words words words. With your design. With your drawings and doodles, with your music, more words more words, poetry and prose. No violence please, if you can help it. Scratch that - all the violence you can muster, the more all the better. With your long over due friendship. So so long over due. The gems and gold that you quote, copy/paste. Mixes. Stir with some gin and coca-cola. No imitations please, cheap cola could upset the recipe. If you forget anything, it is imperative that is is not this; you must hold my hand while you mix. Close me up, latch me closed. Hold me by the hand and preferably by the waist (this is not necessary, just a courtesy which I would enjoy). Now shake me vigorously. Dont be alarmed if I foam at the mouth and eyes, it a natural part of the process. Now sit me in the corner and let me settle for at least one hour before you do anything to me. No less than one hour.

And now what, you ask. Oh darling, wait and see. Wait and see . . .

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